Introvert

He's alive!! He was in a coma, but he's fine now!! I will go into it more a little later .. but I just wanted to thank everyone for being there for me. There are a few of you to name and I'm sure you all know who you are :0)))))) becoz I tell you I love you!! What got me thru on the sleepless nights, was hendrixf's HEY video... AH MAN Love that girl............. she reminded me of what it's like to be alive.

 

Go ahead and celebrate life, watch my stupid video and know that I love you guys.

 

 

It's sad, because I had this happy story that I wanted to tell you guys about, until Paxgitmo hyped it up *smiles* but now, it's too late and the happy story is not so happy anymore, unfortunately.

I just wanted to say that I've been a mess these past few months, because I have been watching my friend fight cancer. He's been successfull so far, but it is slowly killing him and I can hear it in his voice. Many times before I had this feeling that he would make it, but now, I can hear him coughing and I think it his last breaths and this is killing me inside and I am crying uncontrollably and I can't do anything

He is being air-lifted to a hospital in LA, by helicopter right now. I didn't even get to see him one last time, it was so sudden. His body is giving up, I can hear it in his voice. He is so tired and in pain.

If you don't hear from me as much, it is because I am here trying to cope with it.

This is destroying me inside.

I love you guys and I hope that you know that I mean it.

OMG...

What can I say... this guy... please visit his site.. http://joshua.buzznet.com

He is threatening to go over to Myspace and "add a bizzillion friends" (wh0re)

Joshua on Joshua- "Don't call me Josh, call me Joshua. I want the OOH and the AHH"

 

Joshua at work- "O my god, dude. Ants are so strong. This ant is carrying his dead homie on his back."

"Oh nooo Donny, don't diiiiiiee" (said in his wounded soldier voice)

fuckin comedy hahahah

 

Oh and he thinks Tom Cruise is the Anti-Christ

I'm sure that turning to Tylenol PM to sleep, Vivarian to stay awake and washing it down with Grape Gatorade is not helping my condition, but lately I feel a pressure in my chest and it is painful. I didn't tell anyone, except a few, that I had bloodwork done last November, and my cholesterol came back high. The doctor believes that it could be genetic, since hypertension runs in the family. My dad's side. My dad had 6-bypasses November 2004, my grandmother many strokes, grandfather high blood-pressure, great-grandfather, rheumatic heart failure at 18. I believe I am doomed. And I feel like I am overusing this organ, abusing it. There are sensitive people and then there is me. This thing that takes it to the edge of the Earth. If I could place my heart in a vessel and see it away to a watery grave, I would. Anything is better than feeling this way. This intensity. My body cannot house this monster. Understanding... I am standing, but I feel I'm going under. I feel like clay that never hardens. As much as I try, my skin will never become armor. I cannot escape myself

http://veronicaviz.buzznet.com/user/journal/9788/#posted

 

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